This week, Q-Anon followers discovered what it was like to be Elaine Benes. No, not because they were denied harshly by the Soup Nazi. But because, much like the “Seinfeld” character, they were disappointed and jilted by their beloved John F. Kennedy Jr. Unlike Elaine, they didn’t meet him at the gym and get beaten […]
Well, there’s still time to stock up on toilet paper. As previously reported on QuadCities.com, your local news source for breaking news about time travelers on TikTok and alien invasions, our old friend the time traveler from 2485, as well as a couple of other time travelers (do they call each other and coordinate this […]
Listen, folks, if you can’t trust time travelers and aliens posting on TikTok, really, who can you trust? And those time travelers and aliens are BOTH in agreement that the Pumpkin Cold Brew is far superior to the overhyped Pumpkin Spice Latte. And I agree with them. But aside from that incredibly important information, the […]
So, is Donald Trump president yet? I’m writing this column around 10 p.m. Thursday night and it’s scheduled for 9:09 a.m. Friday, and I’m not sure what the exact scheduled time is for Trump to be officially reinstated as president or, according to some people, revealed as always having been president all along. Nope, I’m […]
One of the most popular columns I’ve ever written was a fun whirl through the predictions of an alleged time traveler from the year 2485. Since it was published last fall, it’s been read by hundreds of thousands of people worldwide. Every day, it gets hundreds, sometimes thousands, of views. When I first wrote it, […]
When you can’t trust a random person claiming to be a time traveler on TikTok, really, who CAN you trust? Three out of five alleged time travelers on TikTok claimed that the Kansas City Chiefs were going to win the Super Bowl. And, well, we saw what happened. A romp of 31-9 for the Bucs. […]
About half a football field’s throw ago, I wrote a column about an alleged time traveler from the year 2485. I wrote it as a joke, of course, because I can only take time travel so seriously. As a concept, I find it fascinating, as I find all esoteric science and the ilk fascinating, and […]
I hope you’re stocked up on pizza rolls and champagne! Because a HUGE WORLD EVENT is going to happen TOMORROW. How do I know? A time traveler told me. Yup, that’s right. A time traveler. No, I haven’t been out to the Milan dispensary this morning, I’m talking about a person calling themselves @thatonetimetraveler on […]
There’s been a long history of people claiming to be time travelers. And there’s been an even longer history of people just being full of crap. Oddly enough, the Venn diagram between the two is almost an identical shadow of two circles. Certainly, there are maybe one or two instances that have made me, and […]
Stunning evidence of time travel has been discovered in the Quad-Cities! QuadCities.com has uncovered shocking proof that the past version of area performance artist Khalil Hacker (best known for his socially and politically incendiary controversial devouring of donuts on live video) visited the present local man’s residence, slipped seductively into a Star Wars-themed man lingerie, […]
