Ever wonder what music made by an extraterrestrial might sound like? Apparently, kind of like this: “Let’s dance put on your red shoes and dance the blues…” Which, if you play it backwards, sounds like this: “Dance let’s shoes red your on put blues the dance and laser beam cattle rectums. . . […]
The Royal Wedding! Selena dating Jen’s ex! Kanye West says something stupid! Ever notice that the more heinous things get regarding the economy, wars, presidential scandals, etc., the more intensely the media ignores the real news to concentrate on either celebrity scandals or deviant crimes? Sometimes I wonder if there’s a grand conspiracy regarding celebrities […]
If you’re anywhere near remotely offended by the implied asterisks in that headline, you should stay far away from “Deadpool 2,” a raunchy, hilarious and absolutely brilliant thrill-ride of a movie which rivals and in many ways surpasses the first film and likewise rivals and largely surpasses anything else in the Marvel film canon. “Deadpool […]
You’ve heard the expression, ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer. Well, ask several stupid questions, and get several stupider answers. Case in point: Q: Why do so many blues musicians, like Little Milton, etc., have the nickname “Little?” A: Because many blues musicians are descended from Oompa-Loompas. Blues music actually began with Oompa […]
It’s that time of year again, and if you have kids in elementary school, you know exactly what I mean. School pictures time. That’s right, that time when you get your kids all dressed up and tidied up and get their hair looking perfect and their outfits looking spot on and send them to school, […]
“Fortnite.” “Overwatch.” “God Of War.” Know anyone who plays those games? Know people who say, or demonstrate by their actions, that they’re “addicted” to those games? Think they’re exaggerating? They might not be. It sounds like a sci-fi scenario, but from a logical standpoint, you could become addicted to video games. Much like anything else […]
The following column is excerpted from Sean Leary’s upcoming humor book, Do Vampires Poop? And Other Incredibly Important Questions, available in bookstores worldwide in September. By Sean Leary Ever walk into your house after you’ve been away, or walk into a room and notice a strange smell? Of course, once you do, you have to […]
Sierra, I’m sorry. Call me several times burned and now shy, but I must reject your offer of friendship. Unfortunately, the same goes for you, Pat and Carole, and you, Ashlee, and, sadly, Stephanie and Katrina as well. And Gaston, don’t even go there. Now, I understand, you’ve tried contacting me via facebook friend requests, […]
It’s that time of year again, when every critic rolls out his or her best of for the last 365 days, in hopes of turning other people on to new music and showing off their own music tastes to the world, particularly other critics, who we all desperately try to one-up in our selections. And […]
It’s the end of one year and the beginning of the next, which means that everyone is lining up their goals and resolutions to ignore and feel guilty about in the next 365 days or so. Most of those goals will involve some sort of fitness regimen or losing weight, getting in shape or dieting. […]
