July 22nd, 2022
‘Willy Wonka’ Was a Right Bastard, But He Was Hilarious
Watching the old “Willy Wonka” movie and having the following thoughts…
1. I wonder how much Roald Dahl hated kids because every one of them aside from Charlie is a right little shit.
2. That bed with the grandparents in it has to house the worst smell in the known universe. I do not envy Charlie and his Mom for having to clean that horrible miasma up.
3. The movie is really kind of racist when you think about it. The entire world allegedly has a shot at golden tickets, both adults and children, and a bunch of white kids get them, but what’s more, when the one child of color from Paraguay allegedly gets one, it turns out to be a fraud and the kid cheated.
4. I love how Mike TV’s Dad says he can have a handgun at age 12.
5. Also love how Grandpa Joe gets Charlie a candy bar and Charlie is like “But Grandpa Joe, that money was for tobacco!”
6. Why does everyone care so much about a lifetime supply of chocolate? This movie is not exactly health sensitive to the perils of type 2 diabetes. Wilfred Brimley has to be so disappointed…
7. Wonka is such a cruel, sardonic bastard, but the kids and their parents are so awful you forgive him for it.
8. Hard to forgive Grandpa Joe though, who’s been flat on his ass for 20 years but suddenly becomes spry as a teenager at the news of going to a chocolate factory.
9. Gene Wilder should’ve won the Oscar for his portrayal of Wonka. Comedy is never appreciated.
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