Smoking The Controversy On Facebook That Everyone Is Talking About
There’s a controversy on Facebook that everyone is talking about.
I know, shocking! What is it, a Tuesday?
Yes, actually it is.
Quick, pick up your dry cleaning before they close. You’re welcome.
Of course, every day there’s a new controversy on social media. The social media companies pay people to engage and stoke controversies and then they push them through their algorithm to people they know will get ticked off, to get people fighting, and that’s how they draw bigger audiences, and make more money.
The previous paragraph was brought to you by…
But today’s controversy is particularly gouda, and has drawn some sharp contrasts you chedda know about.
It was started by well-known local troublemaker and former Dispatch/Argus Food Editor Brandy Welvaert.
Usually, Welvaert, typically drunk on the cooking sherry stash she found in a secret underground bunker below previous food editor Liz Meegan’s desk, would spice her Facebook by peppering out japes and jibes about soups, pork t sandwiches, and a mysterious fellow named Jeff.
TRIGGER WARNING: Brandy Welvaert and her smoked lactose intolerant post.
However, this week, she’s done something even more eyebrow-waggling.
TRIGGER ALERT!
WARNING: DO NOT GO ANY FURTHER IF YOU ARE NOT PREPARED FOR SOMETHING WHICH COULD POTENTIALLY SHOCK AND STUN YOU.
OK, YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.
Are you sitting down?
You should be.
Because I’m telling you: This week, Brandy Welvaert slammed foods labeled as non-smoked.
Yeah.
I’ll give you a minute.
Ready? Ok. Deep breath now. Find your center, get those chakras in alignment, clutch the crystals tighter, surround yourself with that happy place, and we’ll continue.
The dairy diva posted the following on her illicit Tome of Countenance:
Is that a cow, or SATAN????
A cheese fan identifying himself as “Nathan Williams,” retorted to the boiling Brandy, “I believe most provolone is smoked, maybe that’s why they labeled it? On a side note, pre-sliced or shredded cheese is heresy.”
Somewhere, Liz is not smiling at you, Brandy.
